Facebook

God only knows why but I have just created a Facebook account for myself. I am one of the most antisocial people I know - why am I joining a networking site?!! Seriously. I do not know but the deed is done, so there you go. If you have an account, feel free to look me up (though there's nothing of much substance in my profile). And if you know what's up with all the hugging, poking, egg hatching, etc., stuff please fill me in. I am lazy; I doubt I'll look into myself. :o)

Movie Morsels 18 - Quantum of Solace

The new trailer for next Bond film came out today:

It opens on November 7th - my 11th anniversary! Maybe I'll get lucky and Robert will treat me to a showing...

Here is a clip of some Bond girl (Olga Somethingorother) behind-the-scenes action:

Father's Day

Yes, yes, I know - Father's Day was weeks ago. But, I wanted to wait until I had all my pictures together before I posted something and my sister just got around to sending me her photos today. So blame Melanie - I do. :o)

The first six pictures are from the Kimball family celebration which took place on the 7th. This year we stuck to our recent tradition of the kiddies making dinner for the parents. As such, Mel and Wade providee the entree and a dessert while Robert and I were in charge of the salad and a second dessert. "But your part sounds so puny by comparison!," you say? True. But... I made homemade salad dressing people!!! And I'm the younger sister - that automatically means I get less responsibility. Just the way it works. Older sisters get to drive first and to even the karmic scale, they must provide more food at a BBQ 18 years later. It's simple physics.

Robert helped out with the "shishie" preparation and had a heck of a time with the onions. Of course, when I tried to take a photo of him tearing up, he tried to look unaffected and made fun of his 'supposed' weepiness. Whatever - we all know the truth! And while my mother would lie for him, Mel and I would not.

I was also in charge of the Rice-a-Roni preparation because, well, I just make it better than my sister. Even her husband said so (for which he paid dearly later, I'm sure). My sister makes it in a sauce pan. A sauce pan?!! No, no, no, no, no - too mushy. Must use skillet. Der. While I was waiting for it to boil, I fashioned myself a pot holder hat. Nice, no?

I'm really not entirely sure what Robert's doing in this photo... but he sure looks excited!

Wade and Robert, the dishwashers for the evening.


The father in front of his spread...

Mel, Me and my dad. I think I see a slight resemblance... ;o)

The remaining photos are from the McCauley family celebration, which was on Father's Day proper. Again, a family BBQ was on the itinerary; however, the McCauleys were very sweet and invited my parents to join in the festivities. Robert (and I, by extension) was in charge of the entree this time, though, with Maria and I handling the hors d'oeuvres and Carmen the side dishes. Robert had never been the man in charge before and he was not a pleasant guy to be around, I must say. He was all stressed out about how much this and how much that to have on hand and how soon should he start this and how long will that take and blah blah blah. Stressful much?! Yeesh. He was fine once the food was on the grill but there was a whole lot of time in between buying the goodies and getting them on the grill, you know? No one knows how I suffer...

Robert and Maria bought Bob some Hooters gift cards for his gift...

They also bought him the beer sleeve, though it was Maria's idea to present the cards on the Kozy. I thought it was rather inventive!

(I probably could've used my head a bit and not posed the Hooters in front of the somewhat suggestive looking pigs in a blanket, eh?)

Bob enjoying (or ogling?) his gift.

Carmen, Bob, Maria & Robert. Oh, and the Hooters Kozy.

Robert looks a wee bit deranged as he skewers the vegetables...

I am a total girl when it comes to raw meat - I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate handling raw meat!!! Do you SEE how nice I'm being to Robert here?

Manning the grill...

Protecting my dad's head from the elements.

There must have been some potent stuff in the sangria because my mother HATES having her picture taken - and she actually asked me to take this photo! She was very excited that her outfit matched her drink...

All in all, I think everyone had an excellent time at all BBQs involved and what more could you ask for for Father's Day?

(Robert should ask for some new clothes - he's wearing the same shirt at both functions!! Egads, man! When I pointed this out to him he said "Well, my birthday's coming up soon..." So I guess that means you should expect to see this shirt several more times before October rolls around...)

Mullet Goo Man Whore Lies Again

Whee!! This post from Defamer cracked me up! And since I don't have much else to post, I'm including it in its entirety. Enjoy.


In the annals of celebrity scandal, the question of whether a Saved By the Bell co-star fibbed about his chest hair would surely rank below most — but not to the aggrieved, vigilant readers of Star magazine. After Mario Lopez gave an interview with People where he testified — under oath, no doubt — that he has never had to manscape, Star dug out old photos of the Dancing With the Stars alum that tell a different tale. What started as an eagle-eyed catch by connoisseurs of celebrity skin quickly became full-on outrage as fans of Lopez flocked to the forum to castigate their former idol. Said Star:

Apparently honesty isn't always the best policy for Mario Lopez.

Last week, Star told you that Mario was double-timing his recent ex, Karina Smirnoff, with a Hooters waitress. Now, we've caught him telling another fib.

Recently named to a magazine's hot bachelor list, Mario was asked during the accompanying interview if he "manscapes," which means removing excess body hair via waxing, shaving, laser or plucking. He responded, "Not at all. That's the Latin Indian blood in me. My Dad has a hairy chest, but I don't."

So how come he has a hairy chest in this 2003 photo... and a bare one in a more recent one?

J'accuse! Reader "blah" recoiled in shock, spitting, "What a liar! You can see the stubble on his ta'ta's... He is a complete loser!!" But perhaps no one was more hurt than "chris," who said, "I think Mario is pretty dishonest. He talks about how religious he is, and has such a strong faith. Excuse me...since when is not being honest ok?"

Indeed, Chris! Did Moses (or whoever) die for our sins so that Mario Lopez could lie to Hollywood publications about his smooth chest? Who among us will stand idly by while the pecs of Hollywood's so-called "Christians" go unchecked? Kudos, Star magazine: only one tabloid had the guts to adhere to that most forgotten of commandments (Commandment 9c): "thou shalt not worship false razors."

[Photo Credit: Star Magazine]

Movie Morsels 17 - Transformers 2 & Bourne 4

I'm very glad I stumbled across TunaFlix a while back - it's a site that doesn't update as often as others but it usually provides very reliable info. You could just go there yourself to get the latest scoop, I guess... But why would you deliberately rob me of such a small pleasure, hmm? Mew for me. :o(

* Guilt trips aside, here's the latest on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (they got rid of the '2' a few weeks back. Ooh.):

• We already knew the sequel would focus on Shia’s “Sam growing up and going to college … a teenager growing into a man,” but apparently “although both characters have grown from high school- to college-age since the first “Transformers” installment, only LaBeouf’s Witwicky is off to college because Fox’s Banes can’t afford school, Bay said.” But when Fox comes to visit, all hell breaks loose, because a scene shot outside the Ivy League school’s gym reportedly has Shia and Megan (along with a healthy number of extras) running for their lives.
• A mini-article in Empire featured this cryptic quote from Josh Duhamel: “I guess who he’s working with is probably the biggest change,” said Duhamel, before adding once more, presumably for emphasis. “Who he’s working with.”

Supposedly, we are to glean from Josh's remark that the Autobots and Decepticons will be teaming up to fight an even more dangerous foe like The Fallen (as hinted at by the film's title), alternately described as "a relatively obscure character from the comics" and "an incredibly powerful robot – one of the thirteen original Transformers." While Empire thinks this scenario is likely, TunaFlix leans toward not jumping to conclusions just yet. Since I don't care, I can't say. However, if you want to read the Empire piece or an on-set article from The New Jersey Times, you may do so here and here.

* Also mentioned in today's TunaFlix updates was a bit on the 4th movie in the Bourne franchise. I must admit that I have a little egg on my face - I had no idea the 4th movie had already been greenlit! I knew there were talks and blah blah blah but had no inkling that the movie already has a proposed title (The Bourne Legacy) and release year (2010) or that it already has pages at IMDb and Wikipedia. Where the heck have I been?!!!! Dang.

Anyway, in a video interview with producer Frank Marshall (at the recent Saturn Awards), the IESB states that director "Paul Greengrass will aim to start shooting next summer with an eye towards a 2010 release, and although there is a fourth Bourne book (not written by Robert Ludlum), Marshall indicated they’ll be taking their “own direction” with the as-yet-untitled Bourne 4." Really? 'Cause I didn't get that the movies weren't faithful to the books when Marie DIED in the second movie whereas she's married and living with Jason in Maine in the books. But whatever. It doesn't matter if the 4th movie's plot involves Jason Bourne churning butter in an Amish community, I will have to see it because Robert has a man-crush on all things Bourne. Yip. Pee. I'll just have to run The Bourne Identity through my head as I pretend to watch #4...

That Cookie?

The Cookie Monster made an appearance on last Thursday's Colbert Report and it even made Robert laugh, so I figure it must actually be pretty funny. :o)

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

My favorite bit? It's probably your favorite, too - "Me have crazy times in 70s and 80s. Me like the Robert Downey, Jr. of cookies." (@ the 3:40 mark) I love it! That was Robert's favorite part, too.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Rock Band

Because we missed the boat on the whole Wii Fit thing, Robert pre-ordered Rock Back many moons ago. This benefited us in many ways, two of which are: (1) the price increased about a week before ours shipped out, but we got to keep our original, cheaper price; and (2) the game wasn't officially released until the 22nd but ours shipped out before that and we received it on the 23rd. Robert was stoked - he actually called me at work with a squeak in his voice because he was so giddy it had finally arrived. And I'm not kidding when I say that as soon as he got home Monday night, he set that bad boy up.

Robert is definitely enamored with his new game; he wants to play it from the minute he walks in the door. He doesn't want to change out of his work clothes or eat dinner - he just wants to play. It's difficult to wrest the drumsticks from his hand, I'll tell you that. I have actually only played the drums so far but It. Is. Fun. So fun! Me likey. I have always thought I should have learned a musical instrument and the drums would have been my choice, I think. I realize, of course, that 4 color-coded drum pads does not a drum set make BUT... I still think it's fun. (In fact, even though we could technically play together if one of us drummed while the other played guitar, Robert and I fight over who gets to drum and have as yet never played together. Oh well.) We really look like a couple of geeks. It's kind of sad.


What I don't like about Rock Band are the graphics - I'm so used to the Guitar Hero animation and circular notes that the RB rectangles and fuzzy band images just aren't doin' it for me. Robert disagrees, but he's dumb. I also don't like that the system doesn't squonk at you when you miss a note like it does on GH. I need clearer indications of my wrong-doing than the little red flash on the screen, people!! The public shame pushes me to play better... :o)

The other thing that sucks about RB is that it's not compatible with the GH guitars! The GH guitars use the Wii remote but all the RB instruments are wireless with a little adapter. So now if we want to actually use the 4-person player mode, we have to shell out another $60 for a RB guitar. Which will bring our grand total to 4. Where the heck are we supposed to store 4 fake guitars?! Blargh. I assume this is because the dudes that did the first two GHs jumped ship to do RB and wanted to stick it to Activision and their GHIII. And who suffers when Mommy and Daddy fight? The children. That's right - us. Stupid Harmonix and Activision pissing contest. Pleh.

Robert actually does the little drumstick tap countdown before each song... I'm a little embarrassed for him.

Note the deep concentration and 'Robert face' as he plays...

I know you're thinking "Why are they using their coffee table as a chair?" Well, because it's just the right height - our couches are leather and a few years old, so the cushions are all smushed down. Plus, it's too big a pain to move the coffee table every time we want to play sitting on the couch... and our only chair is a depository for crap. Right now it's holding a VCR, a backpack, my purse, a couple bags from Long's and a giant Koosh ball. So there you go. If we ever have anyone over for dinner, we'll be sure to wipe the table down for you, no worries.

TV Tidbits 21 - L&O: SVU

Per TVGuide.com:

Michaela McManus (aka One Tree Hill's Lindsey) is joining the cast of NBC's Law & Order: SVU as the new assistant district attorney, effective with this fall's Season 10. McManus will play the ADA assigned to the Special Victims Unit, thus following in the footsteps of predecessors Diane Neal and Stephanie March.

McManus, who attended NYU's graduate acting program, had a recurring role as Lindsey Strauss on One Tree Hill.

I have no idea who this chick is, but okay. I know Dick Wolf likes to shake up his casts so I won't be surprised if Michaela isn't the last ADA we see around the precinct...

And just as an aside, here's a little story about Robert and the name Michaela. This must've been 4 or 5 days ago - Robert was looking something up on the Web when I heard him say "That's the worst name I've ever heard." "What's that?" I asked. "Michael-uh." Now, I'm thinking in my head that he's probably reading 'Michaela' wrong but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt... maybe it was a dude and his name was Mykaeluh or something, I don't know! Anyway, all of my good wishes were for naught. It was indeed a chick. And her name was 'Michaela.' It wasn't even spelled weird. Hasn't Robert ever heard of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?! Sheesh!

Random Round-Up 09

* I'm sure you've all heard about the U.S.'s denial of Boy George's visa for his upcoming tour (that is no more). This quote from Holy Moly!'s article on the incident made me laugh out loud. I don't know if I'm tired or what but I thought it was HI-larious! Judges?

At least George, whilst moaning at Paper Magazine, isn't at all bitter…"There are a number of public figures who are openly using drugs and they have no problem with immigration and I have seriously turned my life around." By selling T-shirts on a market stall? Quite a turnaround, that. Amy Winehouse might feel that her ears are burning at the moment. Mind you, she may well be asleep with a still-smouldering crack pipe pressed against the pillow…

Hee! Made me laugh. :o)

* Wedding, schmedding. I am definitely not a wedding-obsessed type of gal - but I'm also not a raving pro-feminism wedding basher, either. This article from mental_floss had some interesting tidbits on the patriarchal origins of several wedding traditions. It didn't really tell me anything I hadn't already heard or read before but it was still a humorous editorial read - and it offered access to this...

* The most awesome wedding cake ever. I don't think I'll have cake at my wedding but if someone plopped this in my lap, I'd make an exception. The photo is courtesy of alt text's Flickr photostream, which you can access here. It's definitely worth a look - such amazing detail!! It's fantastic. A little story as to the creation of the cake is also featured on the photostream's main page, so I highly recommend taking a gander if you have the time. (The groom also posted about it on his blog, should you want to read a bit more about it.)


I also feel the need to post my favorite user comment on the cake - this guy (or girl) is such a moron but they did make me laugh. I'm sort of a laugh whore, aren't I?

Yay Congratulations!...

...ON FORGETTING THE F&CKING GOOMBAS!!! I hope your marriage sucks as bad as Super Mario Brothers 2, and is GAME OVER in a month. How the f%ck could you forget the goombas? Have you ever even played a Mario game??? I hate this stupid cake.

Hmm... upon further investigation I see that this cake is two years old - and was, apparently, a mini-sensation when the photos came out. Whoops! Well, it was new to me so I will assume it's new to you, too. Here's a photostream of a newer Mario-themed cake from earlier this month.

Movie Morsels 16 - Spider-Man 4 and Nottingham

1.) I came across this update on Spider-Man 4 yesterday but I thought I'd save it for a day when I had less to post. Ta da! TunaFlix says it so well, I don't even really have anything extra to add.

I always thought a 2010 release date was a little early for Spider-Man 4, you know, considering they don’t even have an actor, a director, or a script locked down yet… 2011 though? That sounds a lot more reasonable.

Speaking before a group of theater owners in California and Nevada, Laura Ziskin confirmed that even though Sony doesn’t have a finished screenplay from new writer James Vanderbilt yet, they still hoped Spider-Man 4 could be ready in three years time (whether fans hope so too is another matter entirely).

That would put the sequel a healthy 4 years removed from Spider-Man 3, and keeping a May release date would allow Sony to jump out ahead of Marvel’s proposed Captain America and Avengers movies - after Marvel agreed to let the company renew its rights to the character. Nice to see chivalry isn’t dead, huh?

2.) This one made me happy. Just yesterday I read that Christian Bale was on the top of the list of actors wanted to play Robin Hood in the upcoming Ridley Scott film Nottingham. I went home and said to Robert "I don't know if Christian Bale is going goon or what but the man keeps signing on for these crappy-sounding big budget movies back-to-back-to-back! I know he was in the hurts financially way back in the day but c'mon now - Batman must've put enough coins in his bank account to make him comfortable for life! He doesn't need to be in a Sienna Miller movie!" Lo and behold, I discovered this morning that, as usual, the Daily Mail is full of crap. Per LatinoReview:

Russell Crowe wants Sam Riley who played Joy Division lead singer Ian Curtis in Control to play opposite him as Robin Hood. It's not official yet but they will most likely get Sam Riley for the role because Crowe loved his performance in Control."

TunaFlix agrees that Riley would be an excellent choice for many reasons, not the least of which is "he’s guaranteed to not upstage Crowe, when casting Bale most certainly would have." Oh good. Russell's ego is safe. I will sleep well tonight.

Today's McAvoy Minute

I know - you are all probably sick to death of my hot men posts. And my saying that every time I post one. And yes, it seems like it's the same two dudes over and over... but that is only because those dudes have projects coming out. I swear. As soon as their projects are over and some other hot dude's project pops up on the horizon, I promise I'll start obsessing over him. :o)

Anyhoo, I came across this blurb on EW.com and thought it was worth a watch. Here's EW.com's summary of the Today Show clip:

While interviewing James McAvoy, the conversation turned to his kiss with Angelina Jolie in his new film, Wanted. McAvoy squirmed as [Ann] Curry tried to get him to admit that it must have been easy work. He squirmed some more while explaining that an on-camera sex scene really shouldn't be a turn-on for an actor because then it would be more like "molesting someone" instead of performing one's job. McAvoy then said he hoped that if their interview included a scripted kiss, he and Curry would both be professionals. What was the wannabe cougar's response? A huge grin right into camera, just before saying she would "throw him on the floor." McAvoy blushed and complimented Curry's shoes.

Awkward!

BIJI'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's official!!!!!!! Biji is back from Iraq!!!! He called me on Wednesday of last week and told me he was heading home Friday - but I didn't want to jinx anything and so decided to wait until he was safely back in the U.S. before posting anything. Then, last night at about 9 the call came: he was back in Washington in one piece. YAY!

Unfortunately, he also had to go in to work today. Can you believe that? The man spent 15 months in a war zone, flew for over a day to get home, and got 1 measly day to readjust his time clock. And you thought you didn't want to go to work on a Monday! Supposedly he only has to work a 1/2-day but still... the guy can't get one day off?! Yeesh. He definitely sounded like he could use it - he just sounded exhausted and he said he felt pretty much like crap. Plus, his body has not yet acclimated to Puyallup weather so he was buried under a pile of blankets, poor guy.

He's not yet sure when he'll be in California but it shouldn't be too long now - and then he'll get a well-deserved month off. We are just so ecstatic that he's finished up his tour and is back in one piece!!! And can't wait to see him. :o)

Now I guess it's time Robert and I retired our Biji magnets... and aren't we glad we can? :o)

Robert: 100. Germs: 2.

Robert and I were really looking forward to this weekend - we've had plans the last few weekends (both Saturday and Sunday - can you imagine?!) and were excited to finally have a weekend where we could just hang out and relax. And then stupid ol' Robert ruined it by getting sick!! Selfish.

As such, I wound up having to babysit Robert and his sickness all weekend... boo!!! I have made no secret of my aversion to sick people... Yeah, I know I am one most often so I should probably be more understanding but yuck. Robert doesn't get sick very often (hence the post title); in fact, the last sick day he took from work was back in '02. Seriously. So, he doesn't like being sick, he's not used to it and he's not good at it. Consequently, he was EXTREMELY cranky and unpleasant - which I guess all of us are when we're not feeling well but I wasn't liking it much. He was a real bear all weekend. Couple that with all the whining and sniffling and coughing and... ugh. I just don't like it. It's so freakin' annoying!!! Plus, we all know I'm an absorbent germ - I get sick if you look at me sideways! The last thing I need is for him to hack his disease all over me, you know what I'm saying? He got lucky - I have taken no legal vows to stick with him through better or worse. I'm free to smother him with a pillow and hit the road at the first snarffle!!! But I didn't. 'Cause I'm nice like that. :o)

Actually, I guess a teensy, tiny, minuscule part of me did feel bad for him. He just looked so uncomfortable, even while he was sleeping. He just had this scrunched up little grimace face while he slept; it was pretty sad. It was unbearably hot in our condo (only 86 degrees, c'mon!) so we trekked over to my parents' house - they are out of town and have air conditioning. Plus, they have two couches so Robert could have one all to himself - something both he and I enjoyed. He ended up napping all day, which was good. (I didn't have my camera with me, of course, so the poor quality photos are courtesy of my cell phone.) He hadn't slept very well at all the night before and even went so far as to shove a shirt in his mouth to keep him from swallowing and making his throat any sorer. :o( Poor guy. He napped all day and I got to sit and watch movies on my parents' Blu-Ray DVD player. So, in the end, Robert was quiet and I got to watch movies - not too shabby for Lauren!!

Robert felt a little better on Sunday but still laid around the house. I couldn't talk him into staying home Monday just to rest a bit more ("I can't ruin my streak!" he said) so he'll be back at work tomorrow. As soon as he feels the slightest bit of improvement, he thinks he's cured. Hello, does the word 'relapse' mean anything to you?! Sheesh. But, he is nothing if not stubborn so it remains to be seen how long it will actually take for him to fully recover... and if he infected me, it won't matter. He'll be toast anyway. :o)

(UPDATED) Movie Morsels 15 - Go See Get Smart!!!

06/23/08 UPDATE: BLAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! Squeeeeee!! Get Smart kicked The Love Guru's ass!!! And so did the week-old The Incredible Hulk... and the three weeks-old Kung Fu Panda. Ha ha!!!! Me likey!! Smart earned about $39 million while Guru earned just $14 million for a disappointing 4th place opening. Bwah ha ha!! Some interesting bits from EW.com this morning:

Get Smart came in right around most projections and gave all of its main stars — Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Dwayne Johnson — the biggest bow of their careers as lead actors. (Yes, it is bigger than The Scorpion King!) The film is now the second No. 1 movie of the summer to be adapted from a television show, following Sex and the City; after Carrie & Co.'s flick, it's also the second-biggest live-action comedy opener of 2008. Credit broad appeal (the spy spoof earned a decent B+ CinemaScore grade from an audience that was divided equally between men and women and skewed 60-40 toward older people), decent reviews, and the ever-increasing appeal of its stars. With two weeks before Will Smith's Hancock premieres, Get Smart should keep strong.

versus

One movie that's definitely going nowhere is Mike Myers' The Love Guru, which earned a disappointing $14 mil. While not exactly, you know, a Gigli-esque number, that total is pretty bad: It's merely half of what most pundits predicted the film would earn, and it represents Myers' worst opening since View From the Top's $7 mil bow five years ago. Worse yet, The Love Guru now enjoys the honor of becoming the second major flop of the summer, after Speed Racer (which actually grossed more on its first weekend, $18.6 mil). And with a B- CinemaScore grade from an audience that skewed slightly younger and male, Myers' movie probably won't see much of a karmic improvement ahead.

I love it!! Have I said that yet? :o) I know it's mean (and kind of sad, actually) to extract such glee from one man's professional meltdown but... oh well. My joy cannot be contained!

Original Post: Yes, I totally agree with you - Get Smart looks like ass. However, it is going head-to-head with The Love Guru... and I want Smart to squash Guru like a bug!!! My dad said to me yesterday that he thought I was in a "rant-y" mood on the blog this week, so I thought I'd toss another log on the fire. :o)

I love, love, love Wayne's World and I really liked Mike Myers on SNL but Austin Powers and every other Myers vehicle since 1992 has really not been my cup of tea. (Yes, I like parts of So I Married an Axe Murderer but it's definitely less than a quarter, so it doesn't count. And yes, I like Shrek but I don't consider that solely a Mike Myers gig - Donkey is pretty important, too, dammit!) Anyway, my point is that while I've never actively 'hated' Mike Myers, I've definitely been sort of ambivalent about him in the past. I'd read some stuff about him that made him sound like a jerk but it sort of wafted around gossip sites in spurts over the years - nothing too horrific or concrete to really slap a firm "loathe" label on, you know? Then, especially during the making of The Love Guru, I started reading more and more about his supposed diva antics - things like:

We're told Mike has two male assistants follow him constantly, one to shield his fair skin with a personal umbrella and another to hold a fresh bottle of water with a straw for sipping.

"And Mike gets easily distracted by the sun hitting any reflective surfaces, so he makes people run around the movie with black tape to cover each one," says our snitch.

"When filming is outside, the sun moves and before you know it, there's black tape covering everything and people running around with rolls of it."

and

First he refused to be driven in a limo to the set an hour away and demanded to be helicoptered there instead by his production company. Then his coffee wasn’t made right so a poor intern received the tongue lashing of life. When she started tearing up, he told her to grow a thicker skin. The other day he wouldn’t come out of his trailer because he didn’t get his cappuccino. Word is he sulks for an hour if people don’t fall over themselves quickly or often enough over his sense of humor resulting in much prompting and reminding by assistants to overtly applaud his brilliance. And despite the fact that everyone was initially stoked to work with a local legend, he has, at one time or another, mistreated the entire crew so badly, they are eager to start selling him out.

and

A hometown disappointment continues to disappoint with his ridiculous behaviour and outrageous demands. Still shooting his new movie close to home, apparently he has to wear some kind of prosthetic or padding that makes him hot and is obsessed with trying to cool down. Five personal AC units were installed in his “personal cooling tents” to keep him from overheating and it still wasn’t enough. Crazier still, the tents have to be pre-cooled to await his arrival which is never pre-determined so he had production completely halted for an entire day very recently just to discuss the tent/AC situation, extracting a promise from the crew to have his itinerary and his immediate whereabouts constantly communicated to the “personal cooling tents” so that they can be at exact chill temperatures when he enters.

Longtime fans are shaking their heads at the bizarre antics that don’t seem to be coming to an end. He’s also supposedly pulled out the old favourite – no looking at him without asking for permission. And around town he’s even worse. Many fans who’ve approached in public places for autographs have not only been rudely rebuffed, they’ve pretty much all been told off. But of course he won’t deign to do it himself. He simply looks away and motions for his minion to tell the admirer that he can’t be bothered to talk.

I’m telling you, of all the tips I’ve ever received about celebrity douches on set, he is by far the worst.

Still, the impression was that Mike's on-set dick behavior was sort of kept under wraps. And then just last week Entertainment Weekly rounded all the stories up and delivered a 6-page article on Mike. The article is quite enlightening if you haven't heard any rumors about Mike so far - mostly because actual people (like the director of the first Wayne's World) go on record as to his assy behavior. Myers, of course, refused to be interviewed for the story and who can blame him? He does have his supporters, to be sure, but he honestly sounds like he's definitely lost some marbles on the road from SNL to now.

So... if Mike's douche-iness isn't enough to deter you from Guru (Jessica Alba totally should but...) then there's this review from Slate, which begins:

There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they're good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone. Watching The Love Guru (Paramount Pictures) is a spiritual experience of a sort, but not the sort that its creator and star, Mike Myers, intended. This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I've ever spent outside a hospital waiting room. In the course of those long minutes, Myers leads you on a journey deep inside himself, to the source from whence his comedy springs—and it's about as much fun as a tour of someone's large intestine.

And it only gets better from there, people. So, do your part for mankind and support Get Smart and Steve Carell. Yes, the movie may be ass but Guru doesn't sound much better - and Carell's actually a decent human being! If anyone deserves your hard earned $21, it's Steve.

UPDATE: See?! 20 seconds after I finished this post, I found this blurb on JustJared:

While promoting his latest film The Love Guru on the Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Mike Myers made demands of backstage staffers for Silk nondairy creamer, Twizzlers and raspberry seltzer; he sent one of the interns back when it was not the seltzer brand he wanted.

Random Round-Up 08

You may have noticed a scarcity of posts thus far this week... I have actually been pretty darn busy at work. Again I say - weird!! If my sister ever gets off her now-on-summer-vacation (BOO!!!) butt and sends me some Father's Day photos, I'll be able to post something on that. Until then, I'm sort of blogging on the fly. Today's blurbs are:

1.) Slate has a new article out on questioning the veracity of United Artists' side-by-side photo comparison of Tom Cruise and Claus von Blahblahblah (in promotion of the oft pushed back Valkyrie). You can pretty much gather what you need to know from the following sets of pictures without actually reading the article.

First, the side-by-side issued by United Artists back in July '07

Now we see an AP file photo of Claus, the UA photo of Claus and the promo still of Cruise.

And finally, one of the designers at Slate overlaid the AP Claus photo over the UA Claus photo and compared that image to Cruise.

Soooo... basically United Artists is trying to drum up interest in a movie plagued by bad buzz by shaving off Claus' chin and plumping up his nose to make him look more like Tom Cruise. Excellent plan! (Except that A Beautiful Mind won a buttload of Oscars and Russell Crowe didn't look anything like John Nash... but whatever!)

2.) I have refrained from posting anything about Beckham's new Armani underwear ads (though those bad boys went right into my screen saver at home - yum!). You're welcome. However, if you wish to avoid all things Beckham, you might want to roll past his new Sharpie commercial:

People Magazine's Hottest Man Whore

Mario Lopez? Really? If People really was awarding a prize to one of the biggest man whores, I would not disagree with their choice. But I wouldn't choose Mario as the 'Hottest Man Whore'* much less the 'Hottest Bachelor'!!! Blech. Granted, I'm on record as finding Mario a wee bit too cheesy, greasy and/or crunchy for my taste but still...

Besides, Mario just broke up with his girlfriend ("officially" anyway) a week ago... when exactly did People make their hottest bachelor selection? Yesterday? Or is a dude with a girlfriend but not a wife still considered a "bachelor"? 'Cause I definitely don't consider Robert a bachelor, y'know what I'm saying? And yeah, his case may be different and maybe I can see a case for a guy being a bachelor if he hasn't been dating his girlfriend for very long - but Mario and Karina had been dating for 2 years! I think People is just having a majorly retarded moment with this one...

It is common knowledge that Mario is a dog. A dah-hawg. With a capital D. He was married to Ali Landry (the old Doritos girl) for about 3 minutes before he cheated on her (actually, I think he cheated on her at his bachelor party, too, so I guess he did it before he ever WAS married!) and she got the marriage annulled. Apparently, old habits die hard because he cheated on Karina**, too - she even admitted as much on The Chelsea Handler Show:

Good grief! People is the biggest celebrity ass-kissing publication around - they won't print anything without a publicist's OK. So why are they falling all over themselves to promote this sleazeball and his "search for the perfect woman?" A magazine that so clearly caters to the Mini Van Majority should not have selected such a well-known (and unrepentant) man whore!! Tsk tsk, People. You should know better.

* I most definitely do NOT support man whores in any way, shape or form. Uh uh!!! I certainly don't expect to find myself in such a situation (though who does, really?) but if I ever am, I am decidedly not the type of gal to forgive and forget. Any of you that know me know that I never forget! :o) However, if I had to choose the "hottest" man whore, I guess I'd go with David Beckham. Not when he had long hair and was all greasy (when he was actually actively man-whoring); I like him much better now with his hair shorn and a little less bling. He seems like he's actually sorry about his past transgressions... and while I wouldn't have gotten over it had he done it to me, I guess I will give him a half-point for trying to change. Grudgingly.

UPDATE: Scratch that - I'm going with Ewan, hands-down. I don't like to think of him as a man whore - which is why he didn't immediately spring to mind - but rumor has it he definitely is one. A wife-condoned man whore but a man whore nonetheless. Dang.

** I had to share my favorite quote from this article:

He's really pissed. He's like, 'You're not supposed to talk to [press],' but when you make me look like a total whore, I'm going to tell somebody about it," Cooper says.

"He's a really great guy, don't get me wrong. He's a really nice person. He has a lot of great qualities, but he was not the most faithful person in the world," says Cooper.

Ah, yes. I, too, find that men who try to make women look like whores are really nice people. Don't you?

TV Tidbits 20 - Numb3rs

Per TVGuide.com:

As part of the plan to fill the void left by Diane Farr's departure, Sophina Brown — who most recently was part of the Shark ensemble — is joining CBS' Numb3rs this fall.

Brown will play Nikki Donat, a former LAPD officer and adrenaline junkie who joins Don's FBI team as a junior agent. Brown's gig is recurring, says the Reporter, with the potential of becoming regular.

Clearing Up Some Spa Confusion

My friend Christina was in town this weekend and Robert and I were able to catch up with her a bit (we actually attended a party at her parents' place but because I'm retarded and forgot to upload the photos, I'll post about it tomorrow!). As you may know, Christina is an avid reader of the blog so she'd read my earlier post about the blinds and their usefulness in combating Fatty McMan-Boobs and his friends. She indicated to me that she thought the spa featured in my pictorial was the community spa and, as such, she was at a loss to understand why I would ever be under the impression that anyone in the spa could ever not see me... seeing as it's about a foot away from my sliding glass door. If that were the case, I would've moved out!! I would never be able to tolerate Fatty McMan-Boobs steaming up my windows, blinds or no blinds. So, in an effort to give you a better idea of just how close we are to the community hot tub, I thought I'd post a few photos of our patio. Oh, and don't be fooled by the absence of people - I took the photos at 10 o'clock on Sunday morning. Had I waited two hours - or taken the photos at 2 AM - there would've been oodles of peeps. Trust me.

This is the view of our hot tub from inside our living room. It is not the community spa. It came with the condo, complete with a blue lightbulb in the little outside light you see there above the spa and a 'privacy shade' that unfurled from the overhang. The heater was broken when we bought the condo, though, so we've never used it. I would never have used it anyway because I am just not a hot tub kind of gal... never have been. Still, we haven't gotten rid of it because we can't quite figure out how to dispose of it short of hacking it into pieces and throwing it in the Dumpster. It won't fit through the sliding door (obviously) so unless we want to set up a rig and hoist it over the balcony (doubtful!) it's probably going to be sitting there for a long time to come.

The hot tub also doubles as a place to store crap that has nowhere else to go and as Robert's pseudo-workbench. Hence the sawdust coating...

Here's the view from our balcony. Sure, it looks pretty now, but when 117 kids are shrieking "MARCO! POLO!" at the top of their lungs for hours and hours on end, the prettiness fades away really quickly. I hate Marco Polo. Hate it. Surely there must be some other pool game for children to play...? Ugh.

This is the view from our sink, peering out through the window. I've outlined both the pool and spa for your convenience. :o) We can see all the dancing, hear all the music and when we turn on the light in the kitchen at night to make dinner or get a glass of water, we can see one big shadowy blob split up and become two bobbing heads in the spa. It's kind of creepy. And gross. Why anyone would have (or come very close to having) sex in a communal hot tub I do not know. It's essentially a giant vat of sloughed-off skin, hair and other assorted fluids of I don't know how many people... YUCK!! Why would I want to sit in that much less do anything else in it?!! I. Would. Not.

So, as you can see, the spa is still too close for (my) comfort but definitely not as close as Christina thought it was! :o) I could certainly do without all the noise associated with the pool but the one small saving grace is that it's next to our living room and not our bedroom...

This has nothing to do with anything- I'm just testing something out. Carry on...

Random Round-Up 07

1. Wow - I am really behind. I'd never heard of Mr. PotatoMash, but I guess the site's been around for a while now. I would never have the patience to do something like this but it is fun to look at...

Spudboy

2. Here's a funny clip of Edward Norton promoting The Incredible Hulk (sort of) on Jimmy Kimmel Live:

See, Ed has a sense of humor! People think he's a scarily serious dude - and he usually is - but anyone who would do Death to Smoochy (which, unfortunately, I actually saw) has to have some teensy kernel of humor somewhere in their body.

3. From EW.com: Coldplay Talk Viva la Vida

4. How many posts have I already had on Lifetime ruining Project Runway? I've lost count, but here's whatever-that-number-is+1: PR Will Get a 'Face-lift' on Lifetime

5. Your daily dose o' Bale... yes, I know you're excited. Me, too! :o) (Hey - you'll live. And since neither he nor Ewan has a movie coming out until 2009 you can look forward to a hot men drought coming up in no time.) These are scans of the July issue of Arena (from Singapore - you can thank me for the international postage I'm saving you later), courtesy of christian-bale.org:

TV Tidbits 19 - Top Chef

Ooookay... so after yesterday's blurb about Tom Colicchio, I have a hard time looking at him and not feeling a bit grossed out. It's true - I'm too immature for Top Chef. ;o) And even though I have a hard time watching Tom in action because his mannerisms totally remind me of an old boss I used to have that I do NOT have any residual warm fuzzies for, he is a good judge. Yeah, he's usually a jerk but at least he's honest; if he ever does compliment someone, it means a lot more than if Gail does! He's been a straight-shooter in most of the interviews I've read with him and this Q&A with Salon.com is no different. Excerpt:

Which of the winners of your show would you hire for your kitchen?

Any of them. I have purposefully stayed away from hiring anybody that's been a contestant. But I think Tiffany, a woman from Season 1, was fabulous. She wasn't a fan favorite, but I thought her cooking was brilliant. Harold I would have hired. Forget about the show for a second -- if Harold walked into my restaurant and said he wanted a job, I would have hired him. Same thing with Sam. [Season 3 winner] Hung, definitely. I think a better question would be, "If you were going to open a restaurant with one of them, who would it be?" That's a little different. Probably Harold or Hung. I think [Season 2 winner] Ilan -- he's a good cook, just a little immature, and he has a little way to go. If I were going to raise money and put someone in charge of the kitchen, I'd want someone with a little gravity or weight to them.

Ha ha Ilan!! Ick, I hated that guy. It's not the worst diss I've ever read about anyone but at least he got singled out with some teensy degree of criticism. I don't know how Ilan won season 2 - he was such a whiny ol' Negative Nancy. And all he ever made was friggin' paella!! But whatever.