Help, Please!

I face a tap dilemma this weekend and I need a little outside advice. My instructor over the past few years, Traci, was finally beaten down by Debra (the Parks & Rec director who, if you ever go to my recitals or hear me talk about, you know to be horribly narcissistic and annoying) and quit. So, starting next week, a new gal will be leading the ladies of Wednesday night Intermediate Adult Tap. Traci, meanwhile, will be assisting Mrs. Gentry (who, yes, is still alive) on Monday nights in Newark for a Beg/Int Adult Tap class. I really want to keep tapping - if I stop, I know I'll lose my mojo and just never go back - but I don't know which class to sign up for. Neither class will be particularly fast-paced so that's no help. Fremont makes you sign up for each quarter session separately and, at $69/ea I'll be shelling out $138 to finish out the year. Newark, however, makes you sign up for the remaining two quarter at one time (because they're considered the "recital quarters") and it will cost me $142 as a non-resident to finish out the year in Newark. So monetary considerations aren't really a help, either. I've been chatting on Facebook with a woman from my class, Danielle, who was one of the few people in class both under 50 and actually a good tapper. She, unlike me, knows who'll be teaching in Fremont and passed this along after I asked:

Genea is teaching the class. She was one of Traci's assistants. She helped with my sons class and occasionally taught. I just felt she was not effective. No control, not very enthusiastic, hopefully she is better with adults. She is a great dancer and is taking classes in dance at the college. I think most of the ladies are going to give her a try.

If you sign up in Newark... I know that Traci's mom is in the class and Traci said there was one other person in the class around my age. I had to leave so my kids and I would have the same teacher, plus I am irritated with Debra (I sent her an e-mail)....

So. I am at a tap crossroads. I like the Wednesday night ladies but I'm not sure how many are going to stick around (though I assumed most) and the instructor doesn't sound super fabulous. I really like Traci and she will most likely be teaching an adult tap class on her own next year but Mrs. Gentry's class isn't going to be too strenuous in the meantime. I do like Danielle, though, so I'd know someone and that's always my biggest hurdle. :o) Neither class is really calling to me but, as I said, I think it's important for me to keep dancing somewhere so I want to pick one and get started. I have to sign up by this weekend because classes start next week. This is where you come in:

Is This What YOU Guys Saw?!

I received something in the mail a while back, something I didn't really care about in the first place but the fact that it arrived when I was hoping for/expecting something else didn't help the matter. So this something has sat ignored on my desk for the past few weeks. But now that I am in a happier place and my no school/no work/happy fun time is slowly starting to reach its expiration date, I thought I'd go ahead and punish everyone by posting it. What is this mystery piece of crap, you ask? My recital videos. [Waits for applause to subside...] Yay.

I know that I say the same things every year: that my recitals are terrible, the people in my class are terrible, the music and/or choreography is terrible but this year something else is terrible, too. Me. Now, I'm not trying to make it sound like I think I'm usually Gene Kelly and Ann Miller's love child of dance or anything like that - far from it! It's just that I at least know the steps and have the sense of rhythm and good memory to perform adequately. But this year... Woof. I don't know. It's like the dancing dead. I look dreadful! Awful. I'm sloppy. I look bored. Or sleepy. Or, at the very least, uninterested. It's terrible!!! I never enjoy watching myself on film but I can honestly say that this year's recital is the worst I've seen myself in a while. I am disappointed. And I am sorry that so many of you - especially you new people who hadn't ever seen me dance before! - saw this in person. Once I start working again, I'll give you all a dollar* for your trouble. For those of you that haven't seen it yet but are willing to watch right now, I apologize in advance. (But no money for you. Sorry. You were warned.)

This is 'Beat It.' We are warring gangs, see? We're pink and blue. Scary! I am a blue gangsta; you can find me in the 2nd blue row, the third in line. Once we get out to center stage, I'm pretty much right smack in the middle. You can't really miss me. Unfortunately.

Beat It

And this is 'Takin' Care of Business.' I am the first one out in the front row on the right-hand side. And I stay in the front row for the entire dance. The one nice thing I can say for myself, though, is that I am right on it at the end, when we're "workin' over time." I point to my watch right when I'm supposed to. Yeah!

Takin' Care of Business

* Or maybe discounted veterinary services in 3-5 years.

This Year's Recital Stuff

It's been many moon now since I've had my recital photos and video in my possession but with the wedding and Hawaii and blah blah blah I just haven't had time to actually sit down and get it all uploaded to the blog. But this past weekend I finally buckled down and did it so for your enjoyment, I offer up this year's tap humiliation. :o)

The first dance we did was set to 'Burning Love' as sung by Wynonna. Let me just tell you - you do not know true torture by music until you have to listen to Wynonna's growling and grumbling week in and week out! The dance itself is... okay I guess. It's hard to tell, though, because there are just SO many frickin' people in the class! Apparently, this is because all the older ladies that would normally have signed up for the senior class didn't the like the time and/or day on which it was offered this year, so they signed up for my class. My class was positively packed with Red Hatters!!! I'll be honest - it was annoying. It's always annoying when there are too many people in a class because there's just no room to do steps properly. And with so many, ahem, less... agile people in the class, the steps were noticeably lighter this time around. I mean, it's not like I take tap lessons to be a hard core team dancer or anything - but I would like to at least sort of, maybe, kind of be close to being almost a little challenged. Just once in while. Then again, I don't break off and take classes at a studio because I know the people and I like the people and I'm comfortable so... it's a vicious cycle. :o) Oh well. It IS exercise at least! And this year I noticed there aren't the usual two but three senior tap classes this year so hopefully some of the ladies will opt out of my class next month. We'll see.

(Oh, and in this routine I start out in the back row. As we enter the stage, I'm the 3rd one out in the back line.)

And the 2nd dance we did was to a mishmosh of, like, the theme song to I Love Lucy and "I Go to Rio." That actually might have been a worse song choice than the Wynonna song because I'd wind up leaving class with "I Go to Rio" in my head for at least an hour! :oP And this dance was just ridiculous. The audience thought we were cute in our Lucy costumes and whatnot but the dance was just sooooo easy. Everyone - and I mean everyone - in the class thought it was too simple of a routine so you know it was too easy! (This, however, I should point out does not mean that everyone could perform the steps properly. Ahem.) The amount of arm-rolling was just too much. We all joked that if anyone got lost, they should just start rolling their arms; there was an 80% chance no one would notice! It's true. Plus, red hair is just not a good look for me... ;o)

(In this one I start out in the front row - I wind up 3rd from the left. [I had to latch on to Spazzy Man as he entered the conga line... ick.])

Spamalot Competition

Okay, so this is really sad and pathetic but a woman in my dance class has entered a video in the Spamalot 'Bright Side of Life' contest and I feel it is my duty to promote it. A little bit. :o)

As you may know, Spamalot is currently playing at the Golden Gate Theater (until July, I think) and SHN is sponsoring a video contest:

BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE VIDEO CONTEST

Upload your video and WIN!

• Monty Python's Spamalot wants to see and hear your Bright Side Of Life!
• Create and upload a video of you, your friends or family performing the famous Monty Python song "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life".
• The Grand prize winner will have a portion of their video featured in a Spamalot commercial that will air during the Tony Awards on CBS 5 on Sunday June 7, along with 6 tickets to see Spamalot, a meet and greet with select members of the cast, a $200 gift certificate for dinner and Spamalot show merchandise.
• 3 other semi-finalists will win 2 tickets to see Monty Python's Spamalot.

(You can read the rest about the contest's rules and prizes here.)

Naturally, one of the, ahem, older ladies submitted video of our 'Bright Side of Life' routine from last year's recital. She worked hard during last night's dress rehearsal to get us all to check it out and bump up the total number of views. I don't think it will win because, well, it's pretty crappy. And submissions are only allowed to be 2 minutes long so the dance is completely cut-off at a weird spot. But if you want to take a chance and see if we can get our hideous routine on the air during the Tonys, please check out our official 'Bright Side' video here. And don't giggle.

Recital Photos

There was a treat waiting for me on my doorstep when I got home Wednesday night - my Lifetouch dance photos had at last arrived!!!! Weehoo! These suckers were not cheap, either; in fact, each photo was $20+! In all previous years, we were able to purchase the 8x10s separate from the packages and we paid ONLY the cost of the photo - about $12. This year Lifetouch got pissy and charged us for the sitting fee, as well, for each photo. Which sucked. In fact, I was one of only 3 people that actually bought the photos (it's a good thing no one knew how much they cost before arriving at the sitting... otherwise, I don't think anyone would've shown up!). Most pooled their money and went in on one package and then designated one person as the scanner - they were in charge of scanning the finished product and e-mailing it to everyone. I am a snob, I guess; I wanted a good-quality photo. So I shelled out the big bucks and got these beYOUteeful pictures (you can detect the sarcasm I hope). I don't think you guys were able to appreciate the gloriousness that was my costumes from the tiny video uploads so here's your chance to check'em out up close!

This, obviously, is my Pink Lady ensemble, complete with cat-eye glasses and neck scarf. It's too bad you can't see that we are, in fact, Pink Ladies but oh well. Fortunately, you also can't see the 452 fist-sized crystals adorning the jackets so... ;o) Oh, just in case - I am the second from the right in the front row. You can't see it but I have a pink ribbon in my hair. Awww....

Robert's favorite picture Hound Dog; my mom and I MUCH prefer this photo. I actually don't think I look too bad, which is saying a lot! [I'm third from the left in the front row.] The feather-and-pipe cleaner tiaras we're wearing are meant to represent the sun. I had no idea. Actually, no one in the class did; the ladies that made our costumes for us (first and second from the right in the front row) explained it to us when they heard one of us trash-talking the tiara at the dress rehearsal. Whoops. Still, it was nice of the women to make our costumes for us - they either made or bought everything but the pants for both dances and they did it for only $45 per person. For both costumes! That's pretty good.

You, like my mom, may be thinking I'm the youngest person in the class and I almost am. My friend, Beatriz, is actually 2 years younger than me but she flaked and didn't make it to the session. (Spazzy Man didn't, either - bummer.) There are a few ladies in their 30s in the class but Beatriz and I are the only twentysomethings in the class. But that just means we look that much better! ;o) There's a method to our madness, you see...

Recital Videos

Now, I know everyone has been waiting, waiting, waiting for my recital video uploads so you'll be ecstatic to know that your wait is finally over!! I'll wait for you to calm yourself and quit shrieking and jumping up and down excitedly...

In keeping with the grand Ohlone College Television tradition, the quality of said videos is spotty at best. But, if you like your videos out of focus then you're in luck!! I swear - isn't Ohlone's broadcasting program supposed to be at least sort of good? 'Cause you can't prove it by this video! (Then again, it is better than the first year's DVD - the one that focused entirely on our faces. I mean, it was only a dance recital - why would anyone want to see our feet?) Since it's hard to pick me out of the blurry mass, I spent oodles of time adding in a few highlighting boxes to point out where my genius can be found on the stage... too bad when I embedded them in the blog post, the annotations didn't show up. So, below are the videos in their original form. If you want to check them out with the helpful little highlight boxes, click on the link after each video. :o) Enjoy! [UPDATE: Since posting this my original YouTube account was deleted; as a result, you can't view the videos with the highlight boxes. Sorry!!]

This is (der) Hound Dog - it was the second number in the first act. I am in the middle of the second row to start (about 5th from the left... I'm the only blond-headed ponytail in the second line), though I do move up to the front line for a bit. It's sort of hard to follow me... like one of those 'follow the ball' shell games, y'know?

This was the the final number of the show - it's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Monty Python's 'Spamalot.' I am in the front row, third from the right, throughout most of the routine.

Call Me 'Rizzo of the Red Hat Ladies'

As most of you know, I take tap lessons once-a-week through the City; I just do it for fun and for a little exercise, it's nothing competitive! I've been taking the same class for a few years now and though the peripheral students change from year to year, the core group of us stays the same. We all chit chat and get along really well and it's kind of fun to be in a class where people know and like me (instead of being a wallflower, like I usually am. Yes, I am actually shy in front of strangers, people!!).

The highest level offered through the CoF is 'Intermediate Adult,' so that is what I've taken every time. The City offers two or three separate classes for, ahem, more senior ladies but for some reason most of them feel compelled to take the IA class in addition to whatever senior class(es) they take. I'm not joking when I say that 85% of them are in the Red Hat Society (or something like it) together and practice at each others' houses or at Lake Elizabeth. Anyway, there are about 22 people in the class and I am definitely the youngest. There is one other woman in her late 20s/early 30s, 2 ladies in their mid-30s, 7 or 8 women in their 40s and the remainder are 55+. Oh, and there's Spazzy Man but he's in his 40s, at least (Spazzy Man is a gentleman who is very determined to be a dancer - so much so that he actually brings a tape recorder to class and speaks into as he does the steps [which is really discombobulating to those of us to dance beside him!] - but who just stinks. His movements are extremely jerky and, well, spazzy. Voila - Spazzy Man is born!). Unfortunately, the class has to cater to the lowest common denominator, as it were, so our steps are not terribly difficult... or physically taxing. :o) Don't get me wrong - our steps are not ridiculously doofy or anything; they're just not as hard as they could be at all times.

Robert keeps trying to get me to sign up for a more challenging class and I've definitely put some thought into that. But, I'm very comfortable with the people in my class, I like my instructor and I don't like change... Even if I were to take a harder class, I'd still keep this one. The thought of finding a studio and finding a class and meeting new people just, ugh, sounds like a bummer so I haven't done anything about a new class yet. Plus, I like being the best one in the class!! I always know what I'm doing in this class and I think that increases my enjoyment immensely. :o) I like being the big fish in the little pond...

Which brings me to the point of this posting: I got to lead the class for a bit yesterday! Sort of. My instructor tore her calf muscle a few weeks back and has been on crutches. As such, she has, of course, been unable to instruct as she normally would. Since our recital is at the end of next month, she's desperately trying to put the final polish on our routines and her not being able to demonstrate the steps herself has really irritated her the past few weeks. There are a handful of us in the class that not only have the routines memorized but do the steps properly and on the beat (imagine!) and whereas previous instructors almost always had us in the front line, Tracy (my current teacher) tries to balance things out a bit. (I am in the front row of one dance and in the 2nd of three lines in the second dance). Now, I've had others in the class come up to me and tell me that they follow me because I know what I'm doing and I feel like I have a good sense of who the best tappers are in the class but, you know, I never really know how closely Tracy pays attention to each of us individually. I guess she pays more attention than I thought she did because toward the end of class last night, with about 15 minutes remaining, I was called out by Tracy to come up to the front of the class and show everyone a particular sequence of steps because she's "been watching [me] and [I] know it very well." :o) Hee!! Yay for me! It's sad, I know, but I was excited. Hey, it's always nice to know that, while you might think you're pretty okay yourself, others sometimes agree!!!

Tracy thanked me for helping her out and I told her I was happy to do it. I even had some people consult me after class for a little impromptu tutorial. Now, I'm not trying to say that I'm the best tapper in the universe - far from it!! Good grief; I'm well aware that my lofty status is all relative to the others with whom I dance. Still, I felt skilled. And special. Me likey.

Oh, you may be wondering where the whole "Rizzo" reference came from... well, here's a photo of a part of one of our costumes:

That's right, people - I'm a Pink Lady. (And not just your average Pink Lady - a Bedazzled Pink Lady. You should see the front of the jacket... at least 15 hot glue-gunned crystals adorn the front of the jacket.) Oy. I will be wearing the jacket with a sparkly neck tie and rhinestone-adorned cat eye glasses and dancing to "Hound Dog." The 2nd dance is to "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Spamalot and we will be wearing gold-sequined tops with yellow feather tiaras. I kid you not. I didn't have to wear tiaras even when I danced as a kid!!! We are going to look like geriatric Big Birds, man. *sigh* And that, of course, is the dance where I am in the front line so you can really soak me up in all my banana-colored, eye-searingly sparkly glory. Wooha!! Neil Diamond's got nothin' on us ladies, I'll tell you that.

Just in case my embarrassment is not complete, I thought I'd finish it off by uploading last year's routine. I'm the one whose hat falls off about 2 seconds in. :o( [I'm in the front row, 2nd from the left for those of you who are hard of seeing...] I was (and still am) mortified!! I have NEVER lost ANYTHING in all my years of dancing - not a shoe lace, not a feather, not a strap, not a cane, nothing. I had the freakin' thing pinned to my head and there was a chin strap, so how the hell did it fall off my head?! I know my head is like an orange on a toothpick and the hat was a child's size but still... it had two methods with which to keep it in place!! Gah! If I have to glue the damn Big Bird tiara to my head to make it stay in place, I will!

(The audio is just ever so slightly behind the video, so we don't match up with the beat quite right... I've tried uploading it several times in different formats and this is the best I could do. I'm still working on it, but until I get a better version up here, watch this with the understanding that it's a bit off!)