Before the show started you could pay $10/photo to have your picture taken with these two guys. Let me just say that the line was quite long. It was excruciatingly boring sitting through other people taking photos - I really thought that was something that should've been done at the end of the show. But no one consulted me so sit we did through about 45 minutes of photo taking. Finally, my aunt convinced me to go up with her. The guy she's with is way cuter than the guy I'm squeezing but my guy felt pretty nice. :o) They took two photos - one for each of us - but I thought we were just taking one so after the first one was taken, I started to walk away. My guy grabbed my hand and said "Don't walk away! What's your hurry?" Oh geez.
Unfortunately, my photo did not develop properly - only half of it came out. Which would've been okay, I guess, except it was the half with me in it that got screwed up! I hemmed and hawed and finally my aunt dragged me back in line to get a new photo. We were two groups away from taking the picture when they called 'time.' My aunt made her way to the security dude and informed him of my defective picture. He thought a minute and then decided to let me retake the photo (good thing, since I'd already paid for it! Well, my aunt had, anyway). Unfortunately, the dudes had already left the stage so I looked like an idiot standing on stage all by myself. I apologized to the guys when they came back out but they were very sweet and accommodating. So, I wound up scoring a photo of just me and... I don't know their names. Let's call them Number 1 and Number 2.
The doors opened at 7 and we got there about 7:20 - still, we were relegated to the first row of the second tier of tables. They actually weren't bad seats at all; when the guys made their way into the audience, we were in a darn good position. Unfortunately, there was bench-like thing in front of the rail where three skanky hos decided to plunk their whorey asses down. How skanky were they? Well, one chick jumped on and stated making out with one of the dancers so fervently that he actually had to push her away! True story. Oh, and they all got drunk and spilled a beer on my purse and my mom's feet about 5 minutes into the show. Yay!
This was the first guy that came out. He was a businessman who had an odd love for his TV... or something like that. Once he took his pants off I quit paying attention to the storyline! Because he was the first guy out and he stripped down, I thought the evening was off to a rockin' start! But it was not to be.
Here's one of my aunts approaching the 'head' Chippendale to donate some funds. My mom and aunt thought he was the hottest guy there because he had the longest hair. He was the best dancer of the bunch (though he still wasn't knocking my socks off) but he was thicker than the other guys and I don't really go for long hair. He looked a little like someone from Color Me Badd. He came to our area when the guys were first let into the audience and everyone kept shoving me toward him to give him a dollar. I soooooo did not know what to do. I am a square and I'm only slightly ashamed to admit it. All the other women were climbing on or grinding against the guys, sticking the cash in their bras for the guys to remove with their moths or putting their money in the guys' pants with their own mouths. Homey don't play that. (I also didn't simulate fellatio during my $10 photo op so, y'know, I guess I just wasn't as adventurous as the rest of the ladies.) So, I stood on the sidelines until my aunt literally pushed me into the guy (and boy was he sweaty!). I just stood there like a doofus and sort of mumbled "I don't really know what to do here." He leaned over, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "You're very shy, aren't you?" Great. You KNOW you're a square peg when a fake stripper tells you you're shy!! Good grief. I just giggled and said "Yeah" so he very considerately pulled down the side of his briefs for me to stick my dollar bill in. I did. I turned around. I sat down.
This guy isn't my favorite or anything. The only reason I have so many photos of him is because he was directly (and I mean directly) in front of me for quite some time. This is also the guy the skanky ho in front of me played tonsil hockey with. 
Here's my other aunt enjoying the moves of... I think his name is Gemini but I'm not positive. She most definitely was not shy with any of the dancers whose paths crossed hers. For sure.All in all it was a fun night and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, good dancers and bare asses or no. I will, however, have to make it a point in life to make it to Vegas and check out a REAL Chippendales show one day!!
