Hot Men x 2 + Movie = Meh.

Well, for all the hullabaloo I made about Public Enemies you'd think I'd have managed to see it before last Saturday night. But, I didn't. I think Robert got burned so badly when I dragged him to Troy (he thought the fight scenes might make up for the fact that it was a Brad Pitt movie - they didn't) that I don't think he was too keen to hop in the car and see Public Enemies in the theater. (Which is actually okay. I must have had extenuating circumstances that made missing it okay at the time because let me assure you - if I had REALLY wanted to see the hot men on the big screen, we would most definitely have seen them on the big screen! Moving on...)

Where was I? Oh, yes - Public Enemies. Well, Robert and I Netflix'd it last weekend and I have to say I was mightily disappointed. Christian Bale + Johnny Depp + hot period clothes + respected director (Michael Mann)? Should've been a HUGE win!! But no. It was a slow, boring, somewhat nonsensical mess. In fact, the 10 minute 'making of' featurette was much more informative and interesting than the 2-hour movie so that tells you something right there. And my crushing disappointment got me to thinking: Most movies with more than 1 Hot Man are crap. The aforementioned Troy? Disaster. Velvet Goldmine? Unwatchable. Terminator Salvation? Cockapoops. How can this be?! It's cruel. Cruel, I tell you!! It's like the old 'two good-looking people make ugly children' rule* - too many hot men in a movie dissolves the plot. Such a drag!!

* There are always exceptions to such rules. For instance, Halle Barry and Gabriel Aubry's daughter is gorgeous. And The Prestige was a good movie despite featuring both Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman in leading roles. (Though Hugh's creepy facial hair in the movie sort of dampened the hotness. Maybe Enemies would've been better if Johnny had sported his weird porn 'stache throughout more of the film... )

Movie Morsels 52 - Public Enemies

A new 'trailer' for Public Enemies debuted during the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday so, of course, I must fulfill my Hot Men oath and pass it along. Great googlymoogly - Johnny Depp looks FOIN in this movie!!! Ha cha cha!

Movie Morsels 47: Public Enemies

Funny - I looked for this trailer just yesterday when I posted about Terminator Salvation but it was only released earlier today! Looks good!! (Though my interest may start to wane when Johnny starts sporting his 'stache...)

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp doesn't always ring my bell. Yes, he is so very sexy in movies like Chocolat and What's Eating Gilbert Grape? - and he looks like a dynamite kisser - but in his everyday attire he's a bit... wonky looking. Plus, he rolls his own cigarettes which means there is no filter which for some reason conjures up images of black, sticky, tarry teeth and that just douses any fire I might've had going tout suite!


Clean Johnny? Good. Public Enemies Johnny? Goooood.

Stinky, tar-breath, oily, unwashed Johnny? Mmmm... no thank you.

The point of all my rambling? That, whether or not he lights your fire, Johnny Depp is a nice guy. An out-of-the-ordinary-in-Hollywood nice guy. This is a post by a young woman who got a chance to meet Johnny on the Public Enemies set and it sounds like he is truly a sweet guy who appreciates his fans. I highly recommend the 6-page fawn fest but if you don't have time, here are some telling excerpts:

Finally, around 3:30 a.m., a guy we later learned was Jerry—Johnny's ballsy British bodyguard—came over and asked who we were waiting for.

We hesitated. "…Johnny Depp." Sh*t. This is it. This is where he tells us Johnny won't come out and we sat in the freezing cold and rain for nothing.

"Do you have anything you want him to sign?" We all nodded and frantically dug through our bags. Out of foolish hopefulness I'd been carrying my Edward Scissorhands DVD for days.

Jerry told us to write our names so Johnny could personalize them. He said, "Okay, I'm gonna have him sign these, and when he's finished changing he'll come out and do some pictures. Alright?"

and

When he approached, my heart stopped. Time stalled into a weird, slow-motion dream sequence. I couldn't believe it: Johnny Depp, in the beautiful beautiful flesh, looking at me, smiling. I'm surprised I didn't faint or scream or collapse or shatter into millions of pieces.

He shook my hand. I looked into those perfect deep brown eyes and somehow managed, "You are my favorite actor."

He smiled and quietly said, “Thank you.”

Tentatively, I started, "Could I have a…" Before I could finish, he cut me off with a hug. I all but melted. I know swooning is utterly cliché, but—holy God!—I only got the strength to squeeze back from my determination to not make an idiot of myself. After momentarily losing my ability to speak from being in Johnny Depp's arms (!), I beamed, "It is such an honor to meet you."

With his arm still around me, he smiled again, "Oh, the honor's all mine." We took a picture, and for once I wasn’t paranoid that I looked terrible.

and

As we walked, he patted us on the back, squeezed our shoulders, smiled: "Thank you girls for coming out here, I feel so bad that you were waiting in the cold and rain for so long; thank you. Get some sleep, girls." We thanked him in return. I mean, sh*t, Johnny Depp has nothing to thank me for. I have everything to thank him for.

Very classy. It definitely makes me like him that much more (though not enough to completely get past the Smoky Joe Tar Tooth-ness... sorry).

(UPDATED) Movie Morsels 07(ish) - Public Enemies

I came across these images yesterday and was itching to post them and then I thought "No. No one else cares about any more Christian Bale." But, after chatting about it last night I thought "Screw it. The people need me to flaunt my hot men obsession!!" :o) So, here are some photos of Christian filming Public Enemies in Wisconsin earlier this month (all images courtesy of christian-bale.org):







The production will be moving to Chicago next. What crap lousy luck!!! First I don't live in Wisconsin and now I don't live in Chicago. What the hell?!?!! The Dark Knight also filmed in Chicago... You know who lives in Chicago? My sister. My sister who doesn't care about stalking hot celebrities!!!!! SUCKS! (Then again, if Michelle was interested in stalking Christian and she got to see him and I didn't, well... I would have to hurt her).

I miss living in L.A.; I got to see people there all the time! David Duchovny filmed an episode of The X-Files right outside my chem lab! I left Robert standing on the street corner with melting ice cream as Nora and I gawked at Joshua Jackson in Westwood! Man, life was good.

Now, I can be subtle - no celebrity is going to fall in love with the woman clinging to their ankles and being dragged down the street - but a movie with both Christian and Johnny Depp?!! I would sleep out on the street to catch a glimpse, people!! Yowza.

UPDATE: Uh mah gah... Chris is in Chi-town right this very moment!!! Pew. :o( According to People.com, he was "loading up on toys at Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art during a visit with his wife Sibi and his daughter. Bale bought a puzzle, magnetic color cubes and more, before touring the museum with his family. Of special note: the actor – who plays Batman in The Dark Knight – scoped out artist Karen Kilimnik's show, featuring portraits of celebrities." I will be in the city in July, Christian!!! Just... hang out or something for another month and a half. There's lots to do in Chicago - you can think of something to fill your time! *sigh*