My First Day as a Spartan

Today is my first official day as a graduate student (though I started one of my classes last weekend). And I am sorry to say that I have been freaking out - heavily - for at least two weeks now. I can boil my anxiety down to three things, really:

1. I feel rusty. RU-sty. I have been out of school mode for almost 7 years now and I have rather enjoyed it! I don't know that I have the self-discipline to carve time out of my weeknights and weekends to do schoolwork. I like having the freedom to come home and play Guitar Hero if I want to! I don't want to do homework on Sunday when I could be snuggled on the couch watching movies!! Boo.

2. I hate people. And I HATE group projects. Somehow I thought I'd be able to avoid such things via the online course structure but I can already tell that's a no-go. I will have to do group projects and presentations via conferencing software and a headset. Me. No. Likey. Not one bit. That's one of the only perks about my job - little to no group interaction!! I realize that, had I a real job in Corporate America, team building would be a necessary evil. I'm spoiled. I haven't had to do that yet. And I don't want to. Cry for me.

3. I have, like, zero passion. I am the blandest person around, I swear. (No wonder they call me Vanilla at work!) Everyone else in my class is like "Oh, it's going to be so hard and it'll be a lot of work but, in the end, I'll get to do what I love. It's my passion!" Really? Clearly, this is where I'm going wrong. I have no passion. No drive. No aspirations, really. So what is going to motivate through the hard work and long hours?! I don't know! Big Mel (at work) says money could motivate me. I guess that's true... but I don't think even that is enough to make me want to give up my own time to pursue much of anything. Aren't I inspiring? Don't be surprised if I drop out after this semester and become a dental hygienist. I'm serious. They make pretty good money.
   

And so to end my cheery moment of oversharing, let me leave you with this thought from Stephen Colbert's I Am America... And So Can You!

The Emotional Cost of Knowledge

The more you know, the sadder you get. Don't believe me? By the time you finish reading this, over a hundred dogs and cats in animal shelters around the nation will have been euthanized.* Bet you wish you could erase that knowledge. But it's too late. You learned a New Idea, and it made you sad. College is just more of the same.

* Don't know if this is true.

Amen.