This Made Me Laugh

I read dlisted from time to time but for the most part Michael K. is a bit too... crass. Even for me. ;o) But when I read this I laughed out loud for a good minute - poor Gladys thought I was mocking her Call Center prowess! I don't know why this one tickled me so but it really did. (Apologies in advance if it's too gross for you...)

File this under: Things that can make you impotent. Rosie O'Donnell told Ty Ty Banks on her show that Vadge has been giving her menopause advice. Rosie + Ty Ty + Vadge + Menopause = Dead nuts.

In an episode airing tomorrow and Friday, Rosie tells Ty Ty that she's been going through the change, "Well let me tell you one thing, Tyra: I am about to be 47 next month and Aunt Flow has not shown up for nine months. It started for me at 41...I would be in the bed and I would wake up and the sheets would be soaking wet -- not damp -- soaking wet. I thought, 'Oh, Vivi (her daughter) crawled in here last night and maybe she wet.' So I would throw the covers off and turn to look -- and there's no Vivi, it's just Kelli (her partner in pussy). Then I'm like, 'Kelli is incontinent!' And then I realized, no it's me." _ __ ___ ____ ______ My brain just flatlined for a quick minute.

Rosie sees Vadge as a big sister (HA!), so she emailed her for advice, "When I started having my hormone things, I'm like, 'What the hell is going on?' she's like, 'Get the cream.'"

Coming from Vadge, "get the cream" could be code for so many things. The blood cream from a dude's ripped off ballsack? The cream from a Baby Jesus? The cream that many professional athletes inject into their muscly nalgas?

But Rosie probably doesn't have to worry about menopause anymore. When she read that e-mail from Vadge about the change, all her lady parts packed up their happy lil' shit and busted out of that bitch's ass. Vadge talking about menopause was way too much for them. Rosie probably thought it was just gas from her Mexican lunch.