Dear 2010 Lauren,
I know you love Christmas. Trust me -- I do, too. And I know you think having a real tree is a part of the Christmas magic. But let me tell you, since you will be all aglow with the festivity of the season and not thinking clearly and I am sucking down black cherry cough drops like they're going out of style, it's not really worth it. It's not! Yeah, the tree smells nice but can you really smell it through a nose that's completely plugged? No. And hot cocoa is delicious and Christmas-y... but can you drink such a dairy-riffic beverage with severe chest congestion? No! Christmas carols don't sound quite so jolly when heard through fluid-filled ears, do they?! Didn't think so. And you know that delightful stuffed-up nose whistle you've developed? The one that was kind of cute when you were at home and the dog thought you were whistling to him so he'd follow you all over the house all night? It wasn't so cute when you were trying to talk to students on the phone at work. So please, please, please hear me when I tell you that you should reeeeally put some serious thought into buying a phony tree. Just try it for one year. You might find that a Christmas free from phlegm, raw nostrils and a sore throat is worth not having a Charlie Brown tree. You'll never know unless you try. Please.
Hoping the words really sink in,
Sick, sad and deflated 2009 Lauren
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
it's really not so bad having a fake tree. my parents had a fake tree for 3 years before i even realized. maybe you should ask them what brand....
Post a Comment