Holiday Photos

Well, today is the crappiest of all days - the day I was forced to head back to stinky ol' work after a two week vacation. :o( A vacation I didn't get to truly enjoy because of my sickness(es). [I know you know that already but I'm wallowing in self pity here for a moment - indulge me, won't you?] Plus, today is the 1st day of the winter quarter here at The Bay so things are craaaaazy. I've already had 6 disgruntled students find their way to my office and me no likey! I am also woefully behind in all my regular entertainment blogs so I'm feeling a lot of (self-imposed) pressure to catch up. I'm frazzled here, people!! And I think I'm just going to have to stay behind, entertainment-wise. I told you 2010 wasn't doing much for me. Pleh.

To make matters worse - or, at the very least, not any better - I misplaced the battery charger for my camera sometime after getting back from Hawaii and so had no camera with which to take oodles of holiday photos! My parents let me borrow theirs a few times, though, so I was able to take a smattering of photos. Nothing to write home about, really, but here they are:


This is my mom with Quigley* about 5 minutes after bringing him home on Christmas Eve.


Quigley catching a nap. Little dude is only 3 pounds!!! He is TI-ny! But a spunky little guy; he plays really well with Garfunkel and vice versa. It's so nice that my poops has a new friend to play with everyday!



I really like Quigley's coloring - gives him a bit of pizazz, I think. He's just the cutest little fluff ball... and he loves to give you kisses! If you don't like puppy licks, don't get near this little guy. I have to say, though, as much as I like Quigley, I am a wee bit reserved around him. Everyone thinks he's so cute and everyone thinks my poor Funk is a maneater. :o(

I'm jealous on Garfunkel's behalf and very protective of my little poop. He's cute, too!! And well behaved (... most of the time)!! Really! Big dogs** are so prejudiced against. They do the same things little dogs do but because their teeth are bigger and their barks are deeper people automatically assume they're uncontrollable beasts that would rip your throat out as soon as look at you. Gah! The topic gets me very worked up... Sorry. Moving on.



Robert and I headed over to the Trouts' on the 28th for some fun and games with the Gerbes, Saitos and Kidders. We started with Battle of the Sexes, which we all took very seriously. As you can see in these two photos, the men took aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages to pick just the right question to try and stump the ladies. Didn't always work - we ended the night with a 1-1 draw.


Waitin' for the guys...





I say this every year but it's always a good time with Christina and her family. We get spoiled in the winter because she's here for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now that it's the new year, I don't think she'll be back for quite a few months. Boo.


* Quigley was a name I offered up to my parents because my mom loves her some Tom Selleck. Magnum was a no-go but Quigley turned out to be a keeper. (In case you don't immediately get the reference, Tom was in a movie that three people - my parents and aunt - saw in 1990 called Quigley Down Under. Oh, Alan Rickman - what were you thinking?!)

** I should probably qualify this statement as not ALL big dogs are as prejudiced against as particular breeds like Dobermans, Am. Pit Bull Terriers, German Shepherds, Rottweilers, etc. People don't seem as intimidated by misbehaving Golden Retrievers...

She'll Need More Than a Boob Job After This...

This is Henrietta.

She was a gift from Doug and Sue to Garfunkel for Christmas. We gave her to Garfunkel to play with while the family opened presents. By the time we were done, so was Henrietta.



(We threw away the stuffing that was in her but it was a good fistful at least.)

I Need a New Nose. Please.

I know I haven't updated the blog in a bit but I am so sick right now I don't even have the strength to write anything witty. I went to the doctor on my first day of vacation (December 21st) to get a good jump on my illness. Things seemed to be improving on their own but I thought it couldn't hurt to get a professional assessment. So, off to the doctor I went and she diagnosed me with bronchitis and sent me off with a prescription for Zithromax. Now, I should've stopped her right there because, if you recall from last year's sinus kerfuffle, Zithromax doesn't cut it for me. But, I was stupid and thought "Oh, it's not a sinus infection - maybe Zithromax will work since I'm practically over my sickness, anyway." Stupid me!!!!

Cut to Tuesday, December 29th. Things are worse than EVER and my nose, eyes, ears and lungs are full of things you people don't want to know about. So, I called my doctor again and she prescribed Augmentin. Just like last year. Too bad I'm already well within the throes of a vicious sinus infection and my earlier visit amounted to squat!!!!!! I got no jump on anything!!! I. Am. Miserable. I haven't gotten to really enjoy being away from work and now I have to go back in three days. To say this sucks would be an understatement.

Since this all started in 2009, I can't really blame 2010. But lemme tell you, this year isn't impressing me much, either. Because I am sick Robert and I poo-poo'ed our NYE tradition of going to the movies and stayed in with Biji to play video games and watch something on Pay Per View. Too bad my f*&^%ng TiVo blew up not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES during the course of my purchase so not only didn't I get to see a movie but I basically threw $4.99 down the toilet. Sweet! If this is an omen of things to come, I'm going to bed for the next year.



(And I think, for the first time in history, I'm taking my tree down before my birthday. I am that unhappy, people. I'm willingly killing Christmas!!)

Robert Will Be Distressed!

Shane Sparks is his most favoritest SYTYCD choreographer. Turns out, he may also be a molester. (Sorry, Robert!) The news comes from TMZ:

The LAPD took Sparks into custody at 8AM PT this morning on a felony warrant charging him with molestation.

The alleged incidents began occurring in 1994 and continued for several years. According to the criminal complaint Shane allegedly committed the crimes of lewd acts upon a child -- all felonies. There is only one alleged victim.

The criminal complaint -- filed by the L.A. County District Attorney's office -- charged Sparks with 8 incidents of alleged molestation with an underage girl. There was a clerical error in the D.A.'s charging documents -- there are actually only 8 counts -- not 9.

The lewd acts include oral copulation and other acts "with the intent of arousing, appealing to, and gratifying the lust, passions, and sexual desires of the defendant, who was at least 10 years older than [the victim]."

Sparks -- who was also a choreographer on "So You Think You Can Dance" -- is being held on $590,000 bail.

Sparks is the second person from "So You Think You Can Dance" who's been in trouble with the law -- earlier this year his co-star Alex Da Silva was charged with rape.

No immediate comment from Shane's camp.

Dang. I think Robert's going to have to start liking NapTab...

An Open Letter to Future Lauren

Dear 2010 Lauren,

I know you love Christmas. Trust me -- I do, too. And I know you think having a real tree is a part of the Christmas magic. But let me tell you, since you will be all aglow with the festivity of the season and not thinking clearly and I am sucking down black cherry cough drops like they're going out of style, it's not really worth it. It's not! Yeah, the tree smells nice but can you really smell it through a nose that's completely plugged? No. And hot cocoa is delicious and Christmas-y... but can you drink such a dairy-riffic beverage with severe chest congestion? No! Christmas carols don't sound quite so jolly when heard through fluid-filled ears, do they?! Didn't think so. And you know that delightful stuffed-up nose whistle you've developed? The one that was kind of cute when you were at home and the dog thought you were whistling to him so he'd follow you all over the house all night? It wasn't so cute when you were trying to talk to students on the phone at work. So please, please, please hear me when I tell you that you should reeeeally put some serious thought into buying a phony tree. Just try it for one year. You might find that a Christmas free from phlegm, raw nostrils and a sore throat is worth not having a Charlie Brown tree. You'll never know unless you try. Please.

Hoping the words really sink in,

Sick, sad and deflated 2009 Lauren

Movie Morsels 57: Iron Man 2

New trailer just released (to ride on RDJ's current Sherlock Holmes publicity wagon). It actually doesn't look terrible... Let's hope that's actually true. (I'm still worried about a Spiderman-esque villain saturation problem. War Machine [who's not necessarily a villain but it's in the gray area], Whiplash and Black Widow? Could easily become a case of too many characters spoil the story, you know?)

Garfunkel Could Learn a Thing or Two...

Look at all these dogs, happily wearing their antlers! Why must he be so difficult?

UPDATE: Weehoo!!! A New Puppy!!!

No, not for us - for my parents! My dad finally broke down and decided to indulge my mother's request for a puppy. And here he is!



He's some variety of poodle mix but the rescue group (my parents went through the same group we - and my sister - did, Pound Puppy Rescue) isn't entirely sure exactly what. He's just about 8-weeks and they get to pick him up on Christmas Eve!! What a fantastic Christmas gift. :o) I'm so excited - now Garfunkel will have a forever friend! No word yet on what his name will be but I'm throwing my suggestions out there...

UPDATE: PPR had already taken down their descriptions of the puppy and his litter by the time my parents got the official word they would be bringing this little guy home. Luckily, I still had his page up on my computer at home so I thought I'd add his official bio just to shed a little more light on puppy's personality.

Spencer is a charmer with a personality that is irresistible. He loves to be held and played with, and enjoys cuddling on the couch with his foster mom. He has a shiny black curly coat, with a white dot on his chest, and brown markings on his legs. He is one of Carly’s puppies, and there looks to be some Poodle in him. But whatever he is, he is just plain adorable. The iCarly litter will be ready to go home right around Christmas. If you are looking for a ray of sunshine, look no further because Spencer will put back the sparkle in your life.

And here are a few photos of Spencer's mama and siblings:


I think Spencer (his name will most likely change, though I heard a rumor that my dad sorta likes Spencer...) is a perfect fit for my parents, especially my mom. She'll LOVE a dog that cuddles on the couch!

Biji is THIRTY!!!

Poor Biji. The man is a war veteran, upstanding citizen, conscientious son and outstanding friend. And his friends are douches. And when I say "friends," I mean me and Robert. Yesterday was Biji's 30th birthday and we didn't call him! Now, in our defense Robert got home very late and we didn't finish dinner until 10:45. We were going to call him then but he was asleep. But that is no excuse!!! I should've called him without Robert since I knew he would be terribly late! But no!!!! So, to try and make amends, here is a Biji-centric post. (It's sort of in chronological order... ish.)

Hope you had a passable birthday, Bij.*

Celebrating Biji's 29th birthday @ Chevy's

Celebrating my 29th birthday @ Banchero's

Riding an ATV in Mexico

In England (for work)

At an Iraqi fruit stand, 2nd tour

Demonstrating how to wear his gear (Jan. '07)

Relaxing in his most awesome chair (Seriously. This chair is sooo comfortable!)

Visiting Fremont, 2006

Lookin' FINE @ Elephant Bar

With his godson, Jonathan

With his good friend, Chris

Iraq, 1st tour

In one of Saddam's palaces

Head freshly shaved, ready to deploy the 1st time

With the Stovalls @ Chili's, 2003

Our 1st visit to Puyallup

Relaxing at the Pleasure Palace

Checking out his huuuuuuuuuge feet in Hawaii

1998

* I know it wasn't "good" because it was a Monday, your boss was back and you were sick. So passable is as good as it was gonna get.

A Different Kind of Christmas

This time of year, I am usually unabashedly giddy with excitement. Trees, lights, hot cocoa, cider, songs... all fabulous, uplifting things! This year, however, is a little... droopy. I sort of feel like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. I just can't seem to pump myself up nearly as much as I usually do. I put out the decorations. I'm wearing my sequined Santa shirt and my reindeer earrings but I don't know. I just can't get to 10 on the Scale o' Christmas Joy. :o( Is it the economy? That's probably part of it; it's hard to get excited about anything when you're constantly scrutinizing all aspects of your budget. But that's not the only Grinch around. There just seems to be a general mood of 'meh' in the air. This is supposed to be the best time of the year!!! If this is crappy, I hold no hope for much of 2010. Boo.

And on that cheery note, let me tell you about our tree decorating! We got our tree and put it up last weekend but Robert wasn't able to get the lights up until Friday so I wasn't able to decorate it until Saturday. Normally this would've caused me to flail around on the floor, kicking and screaming about how Christmas is ruined because I got a week less of tree. This year, not so much. (I didn't say none, Robert, so shut up. I said not so much.)

I am allergic to pine trees, however, so the annual decorating of the tree always poses a problem. Why do I not get a fake tree, you ask? Why do I insist on punishing myself with sinus issues for weeks on end? Well, because my parents had a fake tree for many, many years for this very reason (my mom is allergic, too) but I always, always, always developed a sinus infection between Christmas and my birthday every single stinking year anyway. So, really, why go without the very essence of Christmas when I'm going to wind up with the same end result? I won't. Christmas isn't Christmas without going out and picking out the most smushed up and deformed tree on the lot!

Unfortunately for me, however, I did not do anything to help myself while Robert was rustling the tree around sending needles a-flying while putting on the lights. So, of course, I developed a runny nose and sore throat by the time I went to bed Friday night. Things had not improved by Saturday. Nor have they improved by today. But I digress. Because I was already developing some degree of sinus hell, I decided to decorate the tree wearing one of Robert's face masks.

Because nothing says Christmas like feeling like you're suffocating in your own carbon dioxide.

I suppose it helped because I'm not substantially worse than I was on Saturday. I'm just not any better, either, so I'm still bitter. Moving on.

Remember our gigantenormous tree stand from years past? Gone, baby! I finally (under the pretense of it being in the dog's best interest) got Robert to break down and spring for the Omega tree stand. This thing is AWESOME. Awesome!!! It took us less than 60 seconds to get the tree in the stand and get it straight. 60 seconds!!! Unheard of with our other stand. But that isn't even the best part. The best part is this tree stand isn't 3 feet wide! No more bed sheet to cover up the unsightly stand legs, resulting in stubbed toes. We are rollin' in style this year, people! Check it out:



And here are our new ornaments for this year:





This year also marked the first year Robert's spirit broke enough to buy a Douglas fir. If you know Robert, you know how much he looooooves Noble firs and how much he hates the Douglas' puny little non-light-supporting branches. But because any Douglas on the lot was going for $25, that's what we bought. It was a little hard to hang ornaments on the less-than-sturdy branches but I managed.



And Garfunkel was such a trooper! He and I were alone decorating the tree and he didn't so much as try to nibble a single ornament or the garland. He sniffed a couple but then left everything alone. The tree hasn't bothered him a bit since it's been up - nor has he bothered it. He's a fabulous puppy!!

He is not, however, a fabulous model. I bought him a $10 pair of antlers and all I wanted was ONE measly photo. Not for him to wear them for a day or an hour. Just for one photo. Well, I got more than one photo... Just not any good photos. I should've been more specific.




Robert is trying to coax a pose with a sweet potato treat but Garfunkel's not going for it.




Sigh. Oh well. This session was a bust. But I WILL get my photo, Garfunkel. Oh yes. It will be mine.