Blogging is a very '00s activity; this I realize. However, I basically narrate my own life in my head almost constantly, which lends itself to this type of expression quite well. Y'know when a woman is in her earliest months of pregnancy, she feels completely exhausted all of the time? That's because her body is "running a marathon" inside, even though she looks like she's exerting herself no more than usual, just going about her day to day things. Preparing her body and dividing all those cells takes a toll! The woman is tired! This is how I feel ALL the time. Not because I'm pregnant but because my brain is constantly running at full speed. Believe me, I know I look like I am doing nothing -- not working, not laundry, not cooking, not cleaning. Nothing. And I feel guilty and shitty about that all the time. But my brain is running, running, running, thinking thoughts and worrying and stressing and obsessing and wearing me out. This is depression. This is anxiety. At least it is for me. So in order to try and organize all those thought mice running around in my head, I'm going to try and make it a regular point to come here and write. No one needs to be out there to read it. But if someone does, that's okay, too.
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| My brain. (Yes, I know these aren't mice but it is a better visual image!) |
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